urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:criticalpeople It's the Matrox And that makes no sense, right? Juicy 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:criticalpeople:92589 Vulnerability 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 80's Ok. SO I’m feeling vulnerable and insetad of just expressing that honestly, I chose to lash out at anyone and everyone. This has always been my typical MO (assigning blame) and I want to change this. I’m scared because I have no savings and alot of the time I really do feel alone. I know I have a few AWESOME friends, but it’s not fair to always depend on them, especially when they have their own problems to deal with and when they try and talk to me, I seem uninterested. Not that I am, but I appear not to care.<br /><br />I’m scared because I don’t know myself. I’m scared because I think almsot everyone is more beautiful than me and that I will always be left behind for someone better.<br /><br />I’m mad because I KNOW BETTER! I know that confidence makes me sexy, happiness makes me attractive and that no one, no matter how hot or thin she may be or which one of my boyfriends is checking her out, is responsible for my misery but me. I have to remember that it’s ok to feel insecure, jealous and lonely. Jealousy is conquerable once allowed to run it’s course. So what if I don’t get invited to the club? So what if he’s busy all weekend when we had plans? So what if he doesn’t want to listen to me talk about my broken relationship for another hour? <br /><br />So.. I get i get i get it!